top of page
Textured Paper Surface
Search

12 Ways Parents Provoke Children to Anger

Writer: Keith A. Currivean, Ph.D.
Keith A. Currivean, Ph.D.
Oct 27, 2025
2 min read

Updated: Oct 28, 2025

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”(Ephesians 6:4, ESV)

  1. Neglecting Time with Your Children (Deuteronomy 6:7–8)


  • I give excuses why I don’t spend more time.

  • Now I try to do everyday things regularly (i.e. eat breakfast and dinner together).



  1. Modeling Sinful Anger (Proverbs 22:24–25)


  • Children are impressionable and model our behavior.



  1. Scolding Your Children Harshly (Psalms 38:1; Ephesians 4:29)


  • Question 1: Am I Disciplining My Child For a Specific Sinful Action?

  • Question 2: Am I disciplining my child because he offended God?

  • Question 3: Am I discipling my child with the Gospel of Jesus Christ in mind?



  1. Finding Fault with Your Children Constantly (Job 32:3)


  • Love them for who they are.



  1. Refusing to Listen to Your Children (Proverbs 18:13)


  • If we do not listen to our children, they will be disappointed, angry, and resentful.


  1. Permitting Your Children Too Much (Proverbs 29:15; Galatians 4:1–2)


  • Parents who set rules and boundaries love their children.


  1. Demanding Too Much from Your Children (James 3:17; 1 Corinthians 13:11)


  • Keep expectations reasonable.


  1. Setting Double Standards or Changing Standards (2 Corinthians 1:17–18; James 1:8)


  • Partner with your spouse closely and don’t change rules, standards, or expectations.


  1. Comparing Your Children to Others (2 Corinthians 10:12)


  • Focus on your child’s strengths and compliment them.


  1. Failing to Keep Promises (Matthew 5:37; Colossians 3:9)


  • Don’t make a habit of breaking promises, for it takes time for children to gain understanding.


  1. Chastening Your Children in Public (Matthew 18:15)


  • God wants us to reprimand in private to show kindness, consideration, and respect.

  • When we announce our child’s wrongdoing, we shame them, making them feel ridiculed and scorned.


  1. Showing Favoritism (Luke 15:29; James 2:1)


  • Jacob provoked his sons when he gave special treatment to Joseph.

  • You can treat children differently; however, you cannot show preference for one over the other.


Final Thoughts on Provoking Our Children to Anger



  • Don’t be too quick to think you are blameless with God’s command in Ephesians 6:4. We provoke our children to anger in many subtle ways.


  • Nevertheless, God will forgive us and give us daily grace to raise our children in godly discipline and instruction.


  • Be quick to ask your children for forgiveness. Be gracious with your children. Be vigilant

    to look for ways that you are provoking your children to anger and resentment. You might be surprised what you find.

Comments

bottom of page